Achieving those Goals

in

What happens when I don't make my year-end goal?

Once again, I'm fighting perfectionism. With 2017 quickly approaching, it looks like I'm going to be just shy of my 2016 SMART goal to write twenty-four blog posts in a year. The hardest part is that I'm trying to decide what to do about it. Am I going to try to sneak in four more posts? Or am I going to blow it off and beat myself up for not making my goal?

As a perfectionist, I'm battling the fight of perfect. I can't help, but to fight emotions and feelings of the desire for accomplishment and the success of "checking that off my list". Yet as a girl leading a busy life, my perspective is slightly and slowly changing and instead of the "what I didn't do" I want to take a moment to look at what I did do.

I did manage to write eighteen blog posts this year since February 2016. I also committed to paying for my own website and domain. I wrote my first-ever eulogy, thousands of emails, a five-day prayer devotion booklet for my girlfriends, countless carefully crafted Instagram posts, many thank you cards, three presentations, prepared one breakout session, eleven meeting agendas, weeks and weeks of Bible study introductions, and four Evite invitations. (Maybe that last one was a stretch, but I've been writing!) I'm not going to meet my SMART goal for writing, but I do have a lot to look at when I take a step back from staring that goal in the face. It's all about perspective, right?

What about you? What's got you hung up? Do you need a little room for perspective?

I don't want to make excuses for not setting and meeting goals; I want to make excuses for all of us fighting (and losing to!) perfectionism. We ain't perfect here and we wasn't ever gonna be.

 But, what if we were a little nicer to ourselves in celebrating even our smallest victories?

It's the motive and heart behind the goal. Why am I setting this goal? What am I trying to achieve? What can be learned? How can this better benefit those around me? Is this going to make a positive difference?

Those are the real questions that make our goals worth achieving. As I continue to write, I'll keep setting goals, work next year to make my twenty-four and keep working towards that big goal of writing a book one day! The reason why I write in the first place is to encourage and inspire others with God's love. Am I doing that? I sure hope so. 

Let's cheer on on each other as we set goals and work to accomplish them. Let's be there to rally and encourage when they don't match up. Help me to commit to persevere and cheer on the journey, not just the destination and the goals, but the people too!

Cheers y'all!

xoxo

Jes

 

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:14-16  ‭

IMG_0485.JPG

Dear Change, We Don't Always Love You.

Why is change so hard?

May I let that question sit with you for a minute? Tomorrow I’ll have the opportunity to speak to a group of women at the Leadership Education Seminar. My topic is “Turnover & Transition” an eloquent title defined by change as we ask, “How do we lead through the change?”.  

Change is all around us. It’s in our personal life, a new season of life, at home or in the workplace, it’s in our relationships and community; it’s happening. Kids are taking their first steps, friends moving into new homes, graduates are starting college, parents are aging and friends are getting married and/or having babies. As I’ve heard them say in the South, “we’re all in the thick of it together.”

Whether it’s anticipated or unexpected, it’s the new. And we make the choice to either embrace it or resist it. What will you do? What’s changing in your life? What do you wish you could or could not change?

Most of the time my head screams embrace it, but my heart whispers wait, don’t. Other times, I can’t wait for things to change. (I’ll talk more about living in the “wait” in my next post.) Regardless of how the change comes, I’m praying that we’ll have the courage to welcome it. We want to be compassionate about the new, lean into the growth and opportunity with a smile and continue to remember that each season has a reason and a purpose.

Welcome, my friend. Change and new adventure awaits. What will you chose to do with it?

xoxo
Jes

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

 

If we're in a season of change, may we simply readjust our sails.  

If we're in a season of change, may we simply readjust our sails.  

Laundry Love

in

Will take laundry detergent! 

image.jpg

Through our service project  last October with the Tuesday book club girls, we learned about Ms. Ruthie, an owner of a laundry mat in Pacific Beach, who does a lot for the local homeless community. 

A few of us decided that we'd like to meet Ms. Ruthie and take some laundry detergent to help support her "laundry love" efforts. We put together a small detergent drive for any laundry items--liquid detergent, laundry soap, dryer sheets, stain remover, etc. and coupled it with some travel-size toiletry items a friend and her family gave us. We gathered the items, took some time to pick a date, and finally ran down to PB to meet Ms. Ruthie and drop off the items. 

We arrived to a little quaint laundry mat where a sweet, unassuming lady met us behind a service counter in the back. We introduced ourselves as she was a bit shocked, but cheerfully surprised. We walked back to the car to grab the loot and once again met the same sweet lady still pleasantly riddled by our gifts. She gladly accepted and promised to give to anyone who needed. We chatted for a bit longer, promised to be back and to continue to keep her in our prayers. 

When we got into the car and drove away there was silence. Not a word from either of us for minutes. I was completely taken back at how easy it was to give. There weren't words for why I had waited so long to make a trip down to PB or why I haven't put forth more effort to grab an extra bottle of detergent while grocery shopping.

Finally, I broke the silence, "Wow, that was so simple. Why did we wait so long? How could that be so easy to do?" My heart was full of both love and guilt all at the same time. How did I get so caught up in ME that I'd missed little opportunities like that?

I was washed over with mixed emotions on how someone like me, who is blessed beyond measure, had dragged my feet in simply getting out of my bubble [or comfort zone!] to help...or do something for someone other than myself. With this in my heart and great counsel for a girlfriend, here's what we came up with: 

  1. Any size gift or impact makes a difference. God says in the Bible that He cares more about the attitude and the heart of giver than the gift itself. The smallest random acts of kindness still makes a difference in someone's day.
  2. Time doesn't stop. Such a simple and obvious truth, but we need to be reminded that putting something off until tomorrow can too soon become yesterday. If there's a nudge/desire/pull in your heart to do something, do it. We can't let busyness or perfectionism get in our way; otherwise we'll never get to it. 
  3. Look down. When we compare ourselves to others, it's usually the times that we're looking up and suddenly aware of everything we don't have. Try looking down. Take a moment to become aware of everything you do have. Comparison is an instant joy killer and the quickest way to lose sight of your own blessings. When you do look down, most likely you'll see a need. And beyond that, typically a need that you can help meet. If you can't do it alone, enlist those other friends that are looking down too. God's love can motivate and move mountains. 
  4. Generosity and kindness helps make the world go round. As if it's like magic, we tend to feel so much better when we give. Something special happens in our hearts when we take the attention (time and energy!) off of ourselves and refocus it to help someone else. Serving others brings meaning and fulfillment to our lives.  

With all of that, we decided to get in on the "laundry love" movement. Whether it's paying for a stranger's laundry, donating a roll of quarters, soap or dryer sheets, we want to encourage you to do something! And soon! Take a meal, share a smile, pay for some Starbucks, tutor a child, mow the neighbor's yard, or serve at a soup kitchen or local library. Share. Do. Give. We know it not only makes a difference in those around you, but in your life as well. 

xoxo
Jes

P.S. Want to donate to Ms. Ruthie's cause? Email me to drop off laundry detergent, dryer sheets, or other travel size toiletry items! 

 “You must each decide in your heart how much to give. And don’t give reluctantly or in response to pressure. “For God loves a person who gives cheerfully.” And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others.” ‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭9:7-8‬ (‭NLT‬‬)

Paul says, "Here is my advice: It would be good for you to finish what you started a year ago. Last year you were the first who wanted to give, and you were the first to begin doing it. Now you should finish what you started. Let the eagerness you showed in the beginning be matched now by your giving. Give in proportion to what you have. Whatever you give is acceptable if you give it eagerly. And give according to what you have, not what you don’t have.” 2 Corinthians‬ ‭8:10-12‬ ‭(NLT‬‬) 

Truth + Love Designs

in

I'd like to introduce to you one of my friends, Erin Beil, who started a new project last month that absolutely speaks to my heart and those around me. Her new adventures titled Truth + Love Designs encompasses a new Etsy shop and blog affirming women of their beauty and worth.

She writes, "I make designs and provide a platform with messages of positivity and empowerment- truth about how beautiful and how priceless you are! EVERY girl is born absolutely beautiful, with a worth that is beyond measure or accomplishments- born priceless. They are delighted in and loved completely- they are precious."

Erin is using her platform to speak truth and encourage women of all ages to fight the negativity and self lies that so many struggle with. She recently sent out a survey asking fifty women questions regarding their beauty, confidence, capabilities, worth, and even struggles. 75%, nearly 3/4 of the women answered the question: “What do you wish you knew as a girl that has contributed to your confidence as a woman?” Response: I am beautiful because I am made in God's image. 

As I read more about her project, I realized that it quickly lined with with my heart and my efforts. I thought, "Hey, that's what I'm doing too!" except that I'm in California, she's in North Carolina and the ages of our audiences are slightly different, but the messaging is definitely the same. Awesome, huh? We're on the same team, both trying to make a difference in the community of those around us. 

A couple years ago, God opened my heart to create a shift in my thinking regarding community over competition. In a world where the girl power struggle is real (and hard!) and each woman is making a name for herself (sometimes at the expense of herself, her family, integrity, or of others), we face a choice to either build up the girl beside us or tear her down. 

At one point I might have felt defeated or conflicted in sharing the same ideas and platform with a friend. But instead, I've been able to look at those around me and see their strengths. See her talents and capabilities, her leadership and vision as a positive thing to help reach more people. What was once a threat (competition) is now community. 

At the end of the day, we all want to make a difference right? We want to leave our piece of the world better than when we found it. 

I encourage you to take sometime to think about #communityovercompetion in your own community. What does that look like for you? For those around you? The Rising Tide Society has done an awesome job in the creative community to promote this type of thinking. While competition, innovative thinking and goal advancement all have its place, community over competition deals more with matters of the heart. Let's chose kindness first. Let's work together to built each other up and continue to make a positive difference in those around us! 

Be sure to take some time to visit Erin's blog and show her some love! 

#communityovercompetition
xoxo
Jes

image.jpg