Achieving those Goals

What happens when I don't make my year-end goal?

Once again, I'm fighting perfectionism. With 2017 quickly approaching, it looks like I'm going to be just shy of my 2016 SMART goal to write twenty-four blog posts in a year. The hardest part is that I'm trying to decide what to do about it. Am I going to try to sneak in four more posts? Or am I going to blow it off and beat myself up for not making my goal?

As a perfectionist, I'm battling the fight of perfect. I can't help, but to fight emotions and feelings of the desire for accomplishment and the success of "checking that off my list". Yet as a girl leading a busy life, my perspective is slightly and slowly changing and instead of the "what I didn't do" I want to take a moment to look at what I did do.

I did manage to write eighteen blog posts this year since February 2016. I also committed to paying for my own website and domain. I wrote my first-ever eulogy, thousands of emails, a five-day prayer devotion booklet for my girlfriends, countless carefully crafted Instagram posts, many thank you cards, three presentations, prepared one breakout session, eleven meeting agendas, weeks and weeks of Bible study introductions, and four Evite invitations. (Maybe that last one was a stretch, but I've been writing!) I'm not going to meet my SMART goal for writing, but I do have a lot to look at when I take a step back from staring that goal in the face. It's all about perspective, right?

What about you? What's got you hung up? Do you need a little room for perspective?

I don't want to make excuses for not setting and meeting goals; I want to make excuses for all of us fighting (and losing to!) perfectionism. We ain't perfect here and we wasn't ever gonna be.

 But, what if we were a little nicer to ourselves in celebrating even our smallest victories?

It's the motive and heart behind the goal. Why am I setting this goal? What am I trying to achieve? What can be learned? How can this better benefit those around me? Is this going to make a positive difference?

Those are the real questions that make our goals worth achieving. As I continue to write, I'll keep setting goals, work next year to make my twenty-four and keep working towards that big goal of writing a book one day! The reason why I write in the first place is to encourage and inspire others with God's love. Am I doing that? I sure hope so. 

Let's cheer on on each other as we set goals and work to accomplish them. Let's be there to rally and encourage when they don't match up. Help me to commit to persevere and cheer on the journey, not just the destination and the goals, but the people too!

Cheers y'all!

xoxo

Jes

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.” Philippians 3:14-16  ‭

Breaking up with Perfection

It's official. I'm calling it quits with perfectionism. Perfect(ism) and I have had a relationship go on just a little too long and it's finally time to break up.  

As a first-born and big sister boss of two brothers, striving for perfection has been in my world many years. I've wanted things to go my way and be nice and tidy, and perfect as it should be. Cheerleading captain - check. High school honors - check. Full college scholarship - check. Study abroad - check. Cool first job - check. Cute guy - check. Adorable house near the beach - check. Perfection has been this elusive, ideal version of myself and my world that I've been constantly chasing for years, that is, until things didn't go the way I had planned. My white-picket fence, southern story-book life was turned upside down and has never quite been the same since. Yet, as much as I know life isn't perfect, I still want it to be. 

As I want things to go the way I planned and had hoped them to be reality sets in again - my world, your world, our world and our people aren't perfect...and neither are we! So we get let down and disappointed, we burn the cookies, stain the dress, knock over the glass or miss the cue...and sometimes when those things don't go as planned our feelings get hurt and hearts get broken. 

Each unperfect [marred] expectation leaves a little mark of disappointment, discouragement, and discontentment on my heart. It can easily end up hurting my relationships, friendships and teammates; my things (vacations, projects and parties), and my hopes and my dreams. When things don't turn out exactly how I wanted, I can find myself not enjoying the blessing of opportunity that I do have right in front of me. 

We won't ever be perfect this side of heaven. We're banged up, fearfully and wonderfully made, imperfect people trying to be perfect, trying to make perfect and we are wearing ourselves out! 

So in the break-up (and you're welcome to join me!), I'm learning to trade in perfection for excellence. 

Whoa. What? 

Hear me out: Excellence is a talent or quality that is unusually good and surpasses ordinary standards. Wikipedia goes on to say that excellence is a moving target that can be pursued with actions of integrity. Perfection on the other hand is something of absolute completeness and flawlessness, correct in every detail. 

While I can't always do things perfectly every single time, but I can commit to doing them with excellence each time. Doing something extremely well, with integrity and my best might gives way for the opportunity to let my perfect, not-so-perfect expectations off the hook. With this perspective, it even leaves room for a little grace and celebration with and for our people. So things didn't go perfectly, BUT I gave it my very best and she did too. I did what I could to the best of my ability with great preparation and effort..and while that _______ didn't go quite as I had planned, it still was good. What's not to be proud of then? 

So who's with me? May we strive for excellence over perfection and live a life of doing things well.  

xoxo
Jes

 “Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward, and that the Master you are serving is Christ.” Colossians‬ ‭3:23-24‬ 

"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen." 1 Peter 4:8-11

I JUST Wanted To...

I just wanted to say, good morning! 

I just think this would be a good idea. 

Dear Lord, I just want to ask you for...

JUST.  A polite sentiment that I've been using over and over again. One not to intrude or interfere, but just to ask or just to say something. 

I read an article yesterday from Propel Women,  an organization dedicated to helping women internalize a leadership identity and find their purpose, passion and potential, titled "Three Words that Undermine Your Message" and the word "JUST" was top on the list! The author writes,

"This word is usually used as an explanation, but it comes across as weak, apologetic, and whiny. Sometimes we use “just” to make our idea seem small. That way, if someone doesn’t like it or doesn’t agree with us, we can brush it off without being hurt. The truth is that you have to believe what you’re saying more than anyone else does. You have to own it, not minimize it! Simply remove this word and the sentence becomes stronger, more direct, and confident." 

It hit me like a ton of bricks. The word "just" isn't bad nor wrong, but the way that I've been using it has been undermining the way I approach things, especially in my prayer life. Dear Lord, I just want to ask you to show me your way in this. It almost sounds as if I'm bothering God with my request.

Dear God, the Mighty Creator of the Universe, the Redeemer, the Giver of Life, the One Who Is and Can do all things, can you pretty please just help me? It's as if I'm saying, "I'm coming to ask for your help, but I'm unsure if you will or if you care or if this is even worthy of asking." 

Anyone? Or is it just me? 

I don't think this a matter of faith, but a preconditioning, politeness of the heart. We never want to inconvenience those around us, but sometimes when we approach God, we feel the same way. I'm afraid there might be an underlying, unnoticed tone in our hearts in which we feel this time our request may just inconvenience Him.

I believe God is who He says He is in the Bible. I believe that He is the same God who parted the Red Sea, shut the mouths of lions, saved guys from a fiery furnace, healed the sick and made a way for us to have eternal life with Him in heaven through Jesus Christ. I believe the stories of the Bible and I believe that He can do the same things today in 2016 as He did back then. 

And I've witnessed modern day miracles: babies being born healthy without a medical explanation, broken relationships and hearts being restored, sick being healed, addictions broken, people doing a complete one-eighty in their lives and seeing strength and courage given when something's hard to face. Yet, I still sometimes go to God as if I'm bothering Him. 

The truth of it, God cares about it all. He says in the Bible that He does (Psalm 139). Even the littlest as I've seen it in my own life. I've asked for the smallest of things - from needing to be on time for a meeting and hitting all green lights, to finding a new place to live as time is running out, to finding lost car keys and finishing a race when I didn't think I'd have enough strength to go the distance.  To be the biggest of things - healing of a broken heartache, finding strength to get up each morning and do life after the loss of my Momma, loving again without hinderance, bitterness, or fear after a divorce, and having the freedom to laugh, find joy and enjoy life after all the hardship in life. Those are big, y'all! 

I'm sure you have stories of the same. 

So let's be BOLD. Not just bold sometimes or occasionally, but always. Let's remember Who we are asking. Let's be the ones who are filled with gratitude and ask unapologetically and who love fiercely. Let's be confident in God's promises, His great love and His truth in the Bible. 

No more #justsaying. Instead #truth #boldness #confidence #compassion #love 

I don't just love y'all. I really do. 
xoxo
Jes

P.S. Are you in the wait of life right now or afraid to ask? This article is a great reminder as we pray and ask God. 

"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:12

"Call to Me, and I will answer you, and I will tell you great and mighty things, which you do not know." Jeremiah 33:3

"Many, Lord my God, are the wonders you have done, the things you planned for us. None can compare with you; were I to speak and tell of your deed, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5

Something Big

Lately I've been wrestling with this idea of doing something big in my life. I'm thirty now, so something big should come next, right? "Yeah, my brother said, it's thirty-one."  

I'm unsure what it [my something big] looks like just yet--maybe it's creating a business or starting a movement, or simply achieving something big--whatever it is, I want it to be both epic (maybe even trendy) and positively impactful. 

As I was dreaming of my next big thing, a thought stopped me straight in my tracks. I felt in my heart God say, "What if all of the little things you're currently doing add up to something big? Couldn't you count that, Jes? A lifetime of littles to equal your great?"

The idea of a lifetime or a legacy of service hit me like a ton of bricks. As I've been waiting on my something big (not even sure how to really define big!) I had forgotten how important the little things or #smallvictories are in the grand picture of life.

Sure, I would love to write a book one day, speak in front of thousands, own my own business and positively impact hundreds of thousands of lives, but what counts right now in this season of life, are the small things.

The dedication to teaching Bible study to the few on Thursdays, the soup kitchen that needed volunteer help, the Valentine's brunch for our military spouses, the laundry detergent drive for the "Laundry Love" project, the mentoring group at work that we started, and the twenty-five "Bags of Compassion" delivered to the homeless community by the book club; its those things even in the smallest act of kindness, compassion and love matter. 

I'm definitely not trading in ambition for mediocrity, but I am going to take more time to celebrate the small victories and accomplishments in my life as well. Celebrating the little is a lot more fun than always waiting on the big. 

What is your #smallvictories for today? The Bible says that God has created us for many great things, but He also reminds up to watch over and take care of the flock that we have now. Share with me what you're doing! I'd love to hear and celebrate the good with you in all things! 

xoxo

Jes  

 “That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭2:9‬ ‭(NLT) 

 “Care for the flock that God has entrusted to you. Watch over it willingly, not grudgingly—not for what you will get out of it, but because you are eager to serve God.” 1 Peter‬ ‭5:2‬ ‭(NLT)

 “O people, the LORD has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God.” ‭Micah‬ ‭6:8‬ ‭(NLT)

Valentine's Day brunch. 

Giving Back Today!

Oh my, I'm unsure where to start! Maybe I should begin with the Tuesday night book club or the Thursday girls night and Jen Hatmaker's "Interrupted" study, or the idea of missional living and Africa being in my backyard...and the stir in my heart to make a difference. I'll eventually introduce all of those to you, but what I have to tell you about is today. 

There's a group of us, who have been wrestling with the idea of "doing something" to give back to the community. We wanted to meet a need and share the Hope and love of Jesus Christ with those around us. 

We talked about donating clothes, making meals, pooling our money together to give to a cause, feeding the poor, clothing the homeless, helping with the fight against human trafficking and in all of our brainstorming, we landed on creating 25 bags of compassion. We decided that each girl would give $25 bucks for her choice of items to go into a bag that would be personally given to someone on the streets without a home.

The bags were filled with sandwiches, fresh fruit, socks, bottled water, toiletries, Halloween candy, and other goodies. A friend had recommended that we start at the public library in Pacific Beach as that was a popular place for many homeless in the area. Our missional living was off to an enthusiastic start! We knew that we wanted to do more than just pass out bags and call it done; we wanted to meet people, hear their stories, ask what they needed, and share a smile and warm heart. 

We met in the library's parking lot early this morning to finalize our outreach strategy and put the last touches on the bags. As we were finishing up, a clean-cut, friendly gentleman got out of his van to say hello and what we didn't know at the time was that this man was actually going to give to us.

We began chatting with him, asked if he wanted a bag, but he politely declined. He's an Army veteran who turned sixty on Thursday, just recently became a granddad and had sustained some injuries a few years ago which pelted him into a spiral of events leading to his once homelessness. He's no longer homeless as he receives a small income and lives a nomadic lifestyle out of his van. He made Jesus his Lord and Savior a couple years ago and talked about a peace that he's experienced ever since then. He talked about the people in the area and called them each by name, shared more with us about their needs (vitamin packs, hoodies for the cold, laundry soap, socks, sleeping bags, etc.), local meal services, and mentioned the kindness of the sweet lady who owns the laundry mat down the street. 

After Ron prayed with us, he offered to show us around and introduce us to his friends. Not once did we feel unsafe or uncertain around him or anyone. Our hearts were quickly filled with compassion for each of their stories. Many were grateful, but some were turned off. One man, Mr. Rick asked if we'd give one bag to his lady friend. Another asked for an extra pair of socks; Lawrence was grateful for the fresh fruit, Lily said "thank you", Sheryl smiled, Eric and "Word" let us pet their puppies, and one lady said said "no" and that she simply wanted to die. 

Ron showed us a side of San Diego that I hadn't seen. A community that needs us to acknowledge, to listen, to welcome, to love and to give. He spoke highly and gratefully of the people and organizations to came often with hot meals and donations of shoes and clothing. People are doing something and it's incredible. One gentleman and his family hosts a BBQ the fourth Saturday of the month in Marina Point park, another group provides free medical exams and treatment, and another free laundry services. There's a lot going on, but there's still more to do. 

Jesus said, "For the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few." Matthew 9:37

Whether in Christ's name or on your own, it's time for us to do something. Give back. We have way too much to keep it all to ourselves. Maybe it's coaching little league, joining a beach clean-up, shuttling kids to school, tutoring, fostering a child, volunteering for a not-for-profit organization or a service project, inviting friends over for dinner or helping the neighbors next door. Be a light. Be a smile, a kind word, or a gentle heart. 

As we're slowly on our way to "starting small" in our doing something big. I ask that you'll think about joining us next month! We might rally for detergent to take to the laundry mat or join the guy and his family at the BBQ, whatever it is, I'll tell you that it feels good to give back.

Email me if you're curious how to help!
xoxo
Jes

Finishing packing bags at Pacific Beach library. 

Ron showing us around Mission Bay.